Epic FAIL

It doesn't happen often but when it does, it is really bad. I'm not talking about earaches, sick kids or tornadoes, I'm talking about a oft-prepared dish that simply goes totally awry. Last night it was a basic, very basic, bolognese.

Yesterday turned out to be a long, loooooong day. We picked up and installed the new dishwasher. The installation started oddly as the instructions are packed inside the machine but the door wouldn't open. Since there were no instructions anywhere in sight, I looked up the Maytag site and they did have .pdf copies of all necessary stuff. Turns out, unbeknownst to all but actual repair people, the door is held shut by a piece of metal underneath it that must be removed before you can get to the instructions. Uh HUH. I see. After taking the 90° brass fitting and power supply cord from the old dishwasher, Himself proceeded to wire, attach and finagle things until, at long last, the machine was installed and working fine. Then we discovered that, even after thinking of absolutely everything, the silverware drawer won't open because the dishwasher can't be flush-mounted. OK, switch drawers around, no problem.

This was a good opportunity to go through my utensil drawers and sort them out. Have the contents in two tubs and, if I don't use them within 6 months, out they all go! woowoo.

Then scrub the kitchen cabinets and floor, clean out under the fridge, haul about 7 loads of laundry up and down, monitor a trip to an emergency room 100+ miles away made by DS1 and DIL, after which time it was nigh on supper time. Digging around in the freezer brought no brainstorms, we have no prepared soup so soups and grilled cheese was out. What to do?

Ahhhhh! The old stand-by, pasta. Well, it's usually a standby.

This time it turned out SO bad words fail me. Everything went as it normally does:

• onions
• garlic
• tomato paste
• tomatoes
• herbs
• salt
• pepper
• etc etc etc*

Turned out just horrible. I don't always put wine in the sauce so that isn't the problem. The onion and garlic were fine. Herbs fresh and flavorful. Ground meat as usual, nothing odd there. That leaves the tomatoes. But what was wrong with the tomatoes?

I preserve tomatoes 3 different ways. Cook some down pretty far then bag the results to go in the freezer. This I did with the fruit we grew down on the terraces. The remaining yield is made into stewed tomatoes and chunky tomatoes, which are then pressure canned. I normally use one jar of stewed and one jar of chunky but, for no apparent reason, put two bags of the frozen in on top of the canned. The result was so bad that DS3 wouldn't eat it. It's back on the stovetop while I try to figure out some way to rescue it as I really hate wasting food. It's bland, watery and simply has no "oomph." Phooey.

That, in and of itself, was disheartening enough. Adding insult to injury was the fact that, like a moron, I used salted butter for the garlic bread and it turned out so salty it's inedible. Can't even give it to the birds.

Like I said, epic FAIL.


* Told you it was very basic.

"Marzetti's" Spaghetti Pie

The Joy of Cooking is one of my favorite cookbooks for everyday, simple food or what Himself calls "real food." From spiced tea to a form of cassoulet, pretty much anything you might want is there. That explains why the book is approximately the size of Gray's Anatomy. Sometimes the dishes are so simple that they are pretty bland. We found that to be the case with the spaghetti pie recipe. As written, the only herb included was a teaspoon of dried oregano and the amount of garlic was only 2 teaspoons. This to balance and enhance a pound and a half of beef, a large onion and43 ounces of tomatoes? I think not.
I started the recipe just as written but as it simmered it became more bland, developing no flavor. Taking a page from Lydia Bastianich, I added a number of flavorings and aromatics. Tasting, adding, adjusting, tasting again produced a very nicely balanced dish. The original recipe also called for a full pound of cooked pasta, but we only used 1/2 pound. Note that the herbs are dried in this version, change the amounts to your particular taste and add salt and pepper, as needed.

Here's my version of the spaghetti pie, which will serve 4 really hungry people or 8 not-so-hungry folks.

Main ingredient preparation:

• 1 pound ground beef
• 1/2 pound ground pork
• 1 large onion, coarse chop
• 3 cloves garlic, mashed or minced.

Sweat the onion in a heavy pan, using either olive oil or butter. When onion has softened but before it browns, add the meats. Break beef and pork apart with a spatula and cook just until pink. Stir in the garlic and steep until aroma is released.

• 1 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
• 1 15 ounce can whole peeled tomatoes, quartered, juice reserved
• 1/2 cup dry red wine
• 4 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 tablespoon oregano
• 1 tablespoon thyme
• 1 tablespoon basil
• 2 teaspoons red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon crushed anise seed
• 1 bay leaf

Add all the above, including half of the juice from the peeled tomatoes, to the meat combination. Stir well, bring to boil and reduce to simmer. Cover loosely, stirring and tasting occasionally. This can be simmered anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours, depending on how much time the cook has. Adjust flavorings as it cooks, adding herbs or aromatics, such as onion or garlic powder, as it cooks. Add remaining juice if the mixture begins to stick or becomes too thick.

Preheat oven to 350.

Butter a 13 x 9 inch casserole.

Assemble the dish:

• 1/2 pound small dry pasta, mini penne, rigatoni, anything you like, cooked al dente and drained
• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
• 1 cup shredded or sliced mozzarella

Remove meat mixture from heat, take out the bay leaf and stir in the cooked pasta and cheese. Turn the mixture into the casserole and top with:

• 1 cup bread crumbs
• 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar

Melt 2 tablespoons butter and drizzle over the topping. Bake until dish is bubbling around the edges and has browned nicely. I found that 350 didn't brown the topping to my satisfaction so I turned the oven up to 375 for about 20 minutes, which did the trick.

Remove the casserole from the oven and allow to sit a minimum of 5 minutes. Serve with crusty bread and a salad for a hearty and tasty winter meal.

Cannolis, anyone?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have now made my very first, inaugural batch of cannolis from scratch.

Not bad, for a first try. Especially for someone who really doesn't like pastry-making and abhors deep frying stuff.

I used a pretty basic recipe, a standard butter pastry, for the shells. The only past experience I have had with deep-frying a pastry kind of thing was Swedish rosettes, which really isn't the same thing at all, except for the hot fat part. To my total surprise, after frying in 360° F oil for 60 seconds, the shells were flaky, golden-brown and not the least greasy. Success! Woohoo!

The filling? Well, ricotta goes in lasagna, manicotti and shells but not dessert shells. Isn't that right? Naaaaaah. It also goes into desserts. So does mascarpone. No need to raise an eyebrow like that, really. It works nicely.

How does a cook turn cheese into a filling for dessert? First, by draining that ricotta really, really well. Hanging it in a muslin bag over a bowl for 12 hours or so works very well. Dump the cheese into a large bowl, discarding the drained liquid. Get your mixer out and beat that stuff until it's smooth, then add 8 ounces of room temperature mascarpone. Continue beating as you want the two cheeses incorporated together as much as possible. After all is mixed together nicely, add 1 1/2 cups of powdered or confectioner's sugar in small amounts, beating well after each addition. Add whatever flavoring you want at this point, whether a small amount of liquor or extracts, whatever. (Citrus zest is traditional, most likely because it would cut the astounding sweetness of the filling.)

I made another change, one suggested by a lovely Italian friend: whipping 1 cup of heavy cream and folding it into the filling as the last step. The plain cheese mixture is too heavy for our tastes and the whipped cream lightens the texture and gives it a better mouth-feel.

So we have successfully fried pastry and made the filling. Now, to fill the shells in what always turns out to be a life-and-death struggle with the pastry tube. Go ahead and laugh, it's fine. Everyone around here thinks my struggles with the tube and tips is a bit on the far side of hilarious and makes for many titters, giggles and outright guffaws. This particular outing was no different.

Dutifully stuffing the white bit down the tube, sticking the tip on it and screwing the locking ring wasn't too difficult. Dropping the filling, 1/4 cup at a time, into the tube was a snap. Twisting the top of the tube to press the filling down was done in a trice. Pick up shell, insert tip into shell. Squeeze. Now, wait a minute. What's that tiny, thin stream of filling? Is the tip clogged? Well, no. Carried away by the success of the frying, I had put the piping tip on rather than the large filling tip. This led to a somewhat protracted struggle to remove the lock ring, pull the tip off, replace it and put the ring back on. All the while leaking copious amount of white stuff all over the counter and my apron. For all you accomplished bakers, cake decorators and pastry makers this probably sounds too stupid to believe. Believe it. The lock ring wouldn't go back on the tube straight, being slippery from the filling. The bottom of the tube had gotten rucked up and the tip wouldn't fit over the fabric. Coordinating tip, ring and filling was truly beyond the ability of someone with a very high in-born level of klutziness, not withstanding the fact that even with filling leakage the tube was half full. By the time the ring was back on, albeit not straight, yours truly had filling all over hands, arms, apron front, counter and unfilled shells. My imagination gathered generations of Italian nonnas around, clucking disapprovingly.

After surmounting the obstacle of the Deadly Pastry Tube, the actual filling process went smoothly. I had used the large star tip and beating the cheeses thoroughly had created a very smooth, velvety filling that held it's shape at the end of the shells. They came out very nicely, if I may say so myself.

The mixing process for the cheeses involved periodic taste-testing so I already knew the stuff was incredibly sweet*. Not being a lover of anything sweet, I volunteered DS2 for the final vetting of the cannolis. He took one bite, gulped and rushed to the refrigerator for a glass of milk. Sweet, indeed. DS3 appeared some time later and tried another cannoli. He thought they were very good and not at all too sweet. Just shows you can't tell what people will like.

The end of this particular saga has turned out thus:

Himself doesn't want any cannolis, although he is the reason I tried them in the first place.
DS2 won't eat any more because he says he doesn't want to go into sugar-shock.
DS3 thinks they are fine but would rather snack on cheddar cheese.

What did we do with the remaining 11 cannolis? Giuseppe the Body Man turned up late in the afternoon, tried one and took the rest of the bunch home with the expectation of eating the whole mess before bed.**

All in all, it was a successful experiment. Those lovely stainless steel shell forms will be used again, but not to make cannolis. Once is enough.

* In fact, after the final addition of whipped cream and subsequent taste tests, I ate 4 dill pickles and drank several glasses of water to forestall the eventual overload from the sweetness.
** Our cannoli lover isn't anywhere to be found today. I suspect that may be because he's been admitted to the hospital. Too much sweetness isn't good for anyone, even a true-green/white/red Italian gent.

Time for cannolis

I am now the proud mistress of 8 stainless steel cannoli forms. Early next week I plan on putting together my first batch of the classic Italian treat. After consultations with 2 great cooks (thanks, Jamie and Mick) I have decided to use 1/2 whole milk ricotta, 1/4 mascarpone and 1/4 whipped cream for the filling. Not sure whether chocolate cannolis or plain cannolis or white chocolate ones or amaretto or... well, the possibilities are seemingly endless.

Therein is the rub. Do I keep it really simple for my first foray or do I really do it up in style? Due to my total inability to deep fry anything, it will be up to Himself to do that part of the recipe. Maybe I should leave the flavor decision up to him as a sort of recompense for the really messy stuff?

I shall try to take some photos while making the dough and all but making no promises. I usually get so involved in the whole process of cooking that I totally forget those "process" photos.

Will report back on fillings and how the whole thing goes.

Chicken Vesuvio

Another standby. This is a slightly simplified version which works nicely for me when it's been a busy day. Or when I'm totally disgusted with the world.
This will serve around 4 people as a main.

4 1/2 pound chicken, quartered and backbone removed
salt/pepper
1 T dry oregano
1 tsp garlic powder
olive oil, as needed for browning
2 pounds russet potatoes, each cut into 6ths.

6 large garlic cloves, peeled and quartered
1/2 tsp (minimum) red pepper flakes
1/2 c (as needed) chicken broth

1 C frozen peas, thawed
fresh parsley, chopped for garnish

Oven to 450.
Salt and pepper chicken pieces. Sprinkle oregano and garlic powder on chicken.
Heat oil in heavy braising pan.
Saute potatoes until golden brown.
Remove potatoes, add chicken to braising pan and brown on all sides. (I put bacon weights on the chicken to make sure all the skn gets browned.) Add cloves garlic and red pepper, stir until aroma is released.
Return potatoes to pan. Remove pan from heat and stir in broth. Return pan to heat and bring to boil.

Cover pot tightly, move to oven and bake until chicken is fully cooked. Add peas to pot, recover and cook for around 5 minutes until peas are done.

Serve, garnished with peas, potatoes and parsley. Pour sauce around chicken on plates.

Good stuff.

Since I discovered that there were no potatoes in the house, I ended up using canned new potatoes. This made it necessary to change things around a bit. I browned the chicken first, then deglazed the pan with a little chicken broth. Cooked that down and added the canned taters. Browned them up nicely and set them aside. Added a little more chicken broth and the garlic cloves and pepper flakes. Stirred until aroma was released and removed the garlic. (Since my chicken was about 1/2 again as large as called for I figured the cooking time would need to be lengthened so I increased the amount of broth to 1 cup.) Put the broth in the pan, brought it to a boil, added the chicken pieces and stuck the garlic down into the broth around the meat. Covered it and put it in a 425 degree oven for an hour. Removed the pan, added the browned potatoes, recovered and returned to the oven for 30 minutes. Pulled the pan partway out of the oven, lifted lid and dumped in the peas. Slid cover back on and let cook for another 10 minutes.
Removed pan from oven, put chicken on a platter, peas and potatoes in bowls and set them aside under a towel. Returned the pan to the cooktop and cooked and stirred the sauce down to a 1/2 cup.
The intensity of flavor we got using this variation we found to be a real "wow" factor.

Marinated mozzarella

This is so easy to make and the results are so delicious that it's worth finding mozzarella fresca for it. Every time I make this, I'm lucky if there is enough for bruschetta left after the nibblers are done.

For your eating pleasure:

Marinated Mozzarella
15 min. prep

SERVES 6
· 1/2 lb mozzarella, cut in tiny cubes
· 3 tablespoons olive oil
· 3 sun-dried tomatoes, slivered
· 1 teaspoon thyme
· 1 teaspoon oregano
· 1 teaspoon basil
· 1 teaspoon garlic, minced
· 1/4 teaspoon chili pepper flakes
Combine and toss. The longer this is allowed to set, the better the flavor is.


The original recipe is from Recipezaar, contributing member is swiz58.